New Blog

                 Hey all you awesome people out there right now that are reading this! I am here to tell you that I made a new and really awesome blog, to write about high school and all the stuff that comes with that. I mean it was time for a change as well. It was time for something new. I might write on here, and make this blog more of a private type. But, I don't know yet, because there are so many bad and good memories on this blog that it is just bittersweet and I don't know what to do or where to go with this one because so many things have happened, and this was my middle school life when there was a lot happening. It is different and hard, but we keep moving forward and adjusting to whatever life decides to throw at us. Tonight is my last tennis meet, and I am so ready. I am going to miss getting to see everyone everyday.
                I mean tennis was a good emotional break for me because I could be the real me and not be judged for being different because the people at the other school that I play tennis for are really understanding, and nice, as well as accepting. They come from a bigger school than me though, so I am sure that has something to do with it. I am sure of that because they get to see and do more. We also were a team that came together, and set a goal to go places where the tennis team has never gone before, and we got what we wanted this season. I mean we won the conference title. Our season isn't done yet anyways, we are hungry for that state title now. We really want it more than anything. We deserve it too because of everything that we have had to go through. We also have to prove ourselves because our school that I play for, doesn't provide uniforms, and the tennis courts that we practice on stink because they are cracked and chipped, and very dangerous. I mean I accidently faceplanted during practice and broke my glasses and my nose. That was awful, and that was at the beginning of the season.
                I have also found where I belong and that is playing sports for that other school because they make me forget about all the bad things that happen at my school because they make me feel worth while. They make me feel like I am just one of them, and that I don't need to change to be good enough and fit in. They get the fact that everyone is different and they respect that. I really like that. I am proud to be a Mustang even though the school that I go to is a Lion. I am proud of everything that I have done this year in sports, and everything that there is to overcome. There is a lot to be said and done yet, because I am not a senior in high school, but only a freshman. That means there is a lot more adventure, and a lot more fun to be had. That means more memories made at that other school as well as friendships because I don't have that at this school.
                 I am happy to report that I have learned to ignore the bullies now because they don't know what they are talking about. It is hard to do sometimes, but we make do and try our best to shake things off and move forward like nothing happened. It's an uphill battle but I am willing to fight. I mean my life is worth something, and I am going to fight for it. I am pleased to say that I am overcoming bullying and reaching that goal of showing people that suicide is not the answer. It might be hard, but you have to be willing to go for it and get down and dirty to get things done and earn your place.
              Anyways, I just thought that I would log on and write, and tell you what was going on. I feel so bad that Music had to log off, but we are both really busy for high school, and she was going to log back on here just so she could remember the stuff that happened back in the day. I don't want any of that to be forgotten and therefore I am deciding to keep this blog up I guess. But I also don't want it to sit here gathering dust online because I am not updating it. I am going to see what I want to do with it, but it will be something awesome and this blog will not be forgotten. I can promise you all that right now from the bottom of my heart.

I'm Alive

After taking a long break, I have decided to start blogging again. I am busy with high school things now though so it may not be long posts. I guess I don't know what I want to write about anymore or where I want to go with this blog, but after stopping abruptly I figured that I should log on and let you guys know that I am okay, just really busy, and that keeping up this blog is the last thing on my mind right now. Grades really start mattering now so I am worried more about school now than I am about keeping people posted.
That's right, I am in high school now, so a lot of time has past since I last wrote. There really is nothing to fill you in on during that time aside from the fact that my great grandma died, and then I am still doing band am

I'm Here to Apologize

Hey guys it's Music...and I obviously have some explaining to do. I kind of just turned into a ghost blogger and I haven't been on in ages. Now although some of it just falls back in me being a sucky person, I do have some excuses I'll pretend are valid. So first off for school we weren't given laptops, we were given iPads. Let me just say that wasn't the best choice. We don't have keyboards so it makes everything really hard to type and access anything that isn't in app form. However next year we will go back to receiving laptops so I can't wait till then. Next I have been really busy. Last year I didn't have much homework but now I'm usually up till around 10 pm doing my algebra homework. Excuse number three, I...I well I don't really know how to explain it. I've become more introverted in the past two years, which is more towards me always being like that and I'm finally finding who I am and accepting that. I've become a lot less social and spent more time on the internet mindlessly scrolling. I spend all day daydreaming about my dream life, and I think that that causes my sadness because I realize that those things may never happen. I really don't know how to make sense of it even to myself, I just used to be so happy and now I have good days and bad days but my bad days seem to happen more often. It's like I've turned into the stero-typical antisocial, angry, sad, emotional, music loving teenager who keeps her thoughts too herself. My mind is literally filled with thoughts flying and it drives me crazy. I guess you could say I'm in the phase of "finding who I am" but I don't know. I like to be alone and I used to love being around people, and I hold my emotions in till I snap. Again part of my sadness is brought on by me, because I've created like a fantasy world in my head where the boy I like likes me and my family never fights. This has all been really scatter-brained, but I hope you at least kind of understand what's going on and can forgive me for not writing. And sadly I'm sorry to say but I'm resigning from this wonderful blog. I've enjoyed it but I don't feel right saying that I partake in this blog, but never post or update anything. I haven't talked this over with Smiles so this is news to her, but I just don't want to keep you guys waiting and then never post. Next year will only get busier so I don't think that it will get any better. Thank you guys so much for being with me and although this is Smiles blog you made me feel welcome. I will keep this link so when I'm older I can look back and remember the middle school years of my life. All good things must come to an end, and I've reached my end on this blog. I loved my time here but it's time to start the next chapter in my life. <3
Solemnly sorry,
-- Music

Busy busy busy

Hey ladies, Smiles here and it looks like I am back to having my own blog because music hasn't posted in forever or said anything to me about posting something. But I haven't been having all fun away from here I am busy with student council cross country and doing a lot of rehabbing of injuries to become well for track and high school cross country which training starts in the summer for. It is something that I really can't wait for. I mean sure it will be something that I will be with my sister for but that is fine.
It appears as if I need to remind people of commenting guidelines. Keep it clean and respectful. Please don't use caps lock or swear words. Also racist comments and really ride comments will be removed once reported. Swearing is also not allowed unless it is something like crap or omg even though I don't like that. Thanks for understanding and helping me keep this blog a clean place for people.

XC

Hey, blogettes! It's Smiles here! I am so sorry I have not written in quite awhile. I have been so busy with cross country it isn't funny, and yes I am doing fairly well this year even with a bad knee and the pain that it causes sometimes. I am super nervous for tomorrow's meet which is at Cascade that I can't seem to fall asleep which is bad because I need energy for the meet tomorrow. I am also excited because I get to compete against some of my friends from honor choir there. I am mainly worried about the finish.
         Last year I did not get to finish the race. I was in the back of an ambulance on my way to the hospital to get stitches in my lower back because some girl ran right over me when I was off to the side in the bottom of the pit tying my shoes. I said that I was fine to the paramedics and wanted to finish because we were 500 meters away, another reason why you know I do cross country is that I am freakishly good at estimating distances, but anyways back on topic now, but they said no because my back was bleeding pretty good because it was a deep cut because she was wearing a longer type of spike,which is now illegal I believe for cross country, and they said that I could have spinal cord damage too because they didn't know how far the spike went in even though I had moved from my back to an upright position just fine, and they saw me do that. I was told by the corner guard that the runner got who radioed to them to get there told me to stay like I was until medical advice came so I laid face down in mud for like five minutes with blood coming out of my back and the crowd making these very nerve racking comments, and I am just down there classically worrying sbout my finish and how I would gain momentum to finish awesome. Of course it could have been an accident because it was raining and this meet is all hills and she could have fell coming down the hill and slid into my lower back on accident but I mean she totally like flattened me onto the ground because I had mud in places that I never want it to be there again. She then went right on running without bothering to see if I was okay. Some other runner behind her alerted the paramedics because when she passed me I was still flat in shock mainly because of what just happened. See above for how that all turned out.
Our team ended up placing first at that meet but I think that they heard what had happened to me because I saw a push from some if them from the videos that people could take of what was going on and mainly the finish and a lot of them said to get well soon for me which was nice and some of the other runners just rallied around mount vernon lisbon because it is scary any time that one of us is hurt enough to the point where the ambulance has to be used to take a person into the hospital. Besides some kids on my team just came out and were right to the point and just said let's win this thing for me because I was in the hospital and I wasn't able to get the finish that I wanted to so badly and was so close to, but was too badly injured for the paramedics to agree to let me finish. I was heavily bandaged in the pit and was helped up and onto the stretcher because they didn't want me to get ran over again because I was moving a little bit slower and I was thinking of honestly walking or crawling to the finish if I had to anyways with my injury but they vetoed that and I am still mad at them.  We are like a family or at least most of us are. A lot of oeople think that girl meant to run over me to better her place because she was not a good runner, but if she did I forgive her and congratulate her because that course is insanely rough and she finished it. She did better than I did but there again she also hurt me, and my team still ended up placing better than hers. I hope that she isn't there this year I think that she was an eighth grader because last year's eighth graders said that she clothes lined a person to get a better place in the meet when they were seventh graders. I honestly had to do a double take to see if I had heard them right I mean that is just sad that you would do that.
Anyways I am going to see if I can't sleep now because I am going to need it with it being such a big day for me tomorrow, anyways wish me luck and pray for me because I am super nervous and hopefully this time I will end up at the finish line and not a hospital ambulance in need of stitches. I am hoping not to race that chick this year either and that she has the guts to apologize to me because if she had went in deep enough with her spike she could have changed my whole entire life by damaging my spinal cord, I would really hate her then because running is pretty much my whole life. Running and god is what I live for pretty much except in reverse order. I am also communications in my school student council so I will get busy with that job too.

Bible Camp

       Hey blogettes! It's Smiles here, and I am back from a very fun, crazy, and uplifting week at Bible camp. It turned out to be better and less stressful than I thought it would be. I was the only 14 year old there but you know what I will be the future and more of the older people before you know it. I'm ready to take on that challenge. I learned a lot in the five days while I was there but I spent the first two days being so homesick because people weren't opening themselves to me and then two amazing girls did open themselves to me. They were both named Abby or whatever spelling you may like and one of them was from the area and the other one was from some place down south but was spending the summer in our state and wanted to go to bible camp with the other Abby.
       I was happy when they opened themselves to me because it meant that people saw me and saw that I was worth a shot. I like people who are open and adventurous and welcoming. That really helped me feel good and on the same level. Anyways got to go.

10 Days Till Bible Camp

        Hey, blogettes! It's me Smiles here! Sorry I haven't written in a while, as you can tell from my last few posts I have been busy both emotionally and physically, and am about to get busier as you can tell by the title of this post. I think that this will be my last post sadly before camp but there will be a post after camp telling you how much fun that I had there. I am also going to be walking in a local parade to promote bible school which is actually this coming week believe it or not. Wow where has this summer gone? School will be starting in a month and actually part of me is ready for that. I am ready to have technology at my finger tips again even though I do have a smart phone now, and those of you that know me well can stop me and ask for my phone number or snapchat account as to be on the safe side of things I will not be putting them on here. 

       I am also really excited to get back into the swing of things because that means cross country time and then the start of cross country as well. I still love cross country so much and maybe even more even though it does hurt me thanks to whatever happened in track. Anyways the library closes soon so I better start heading home. Anyways wish me luck and stay beautiful and loyal blogettes! I promise that I will try to find more time to write posts to you ladies because you deserve better. After all this is your blog. I am just the writer posting things that you should know about me or might enjoy.