Hey, blogettes! That's right, I have a Twitter. Those of you who want to leave Twitter because it just became uncool should get out while you can because I am not going to delete my account any time soon on there. I feel like I am so connected to the world now because I have a social media page that other people can tweet on, rather than this blog which sadly I had to block comments on because someone was abusing that area, and really ruining my day, and my life, and the confidence that I had built up in myself. I promise you that once the pollen counts go down and I find enough time and a quiet place to film a vlog I will do it. Until then, posts like these are just going to have to do the trick.
I highly doubt that I am going to have any friends my age that follow me, but some of my older sister's friends have followed me, and I have already gotten a favorite and a retweet on my first tweet. I feel so happy that people are liking me or so I think that they are because they are retweeting and starring my tweet as a favorite. I feel so special at this nice outcome. I know it won't last long probably though, so I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.
I also want to take some time to send a shout out to one of my best friends who has always been there for me, because it is her birthday today. I wanted to say thank you for being such a loyal friend to me, and I can't imagine my life without you, because you have made it so much better. When I am around my two best friends I feel like I can be me, and not hold anything back. I feel like they will accept me no matter what, but when I am around other people, I feel like I have to change a bit, and it still won't be good enough for them, so I wonder why I even bother trying at times to hang out with their group because it won't work out in the end no matter what.
I guess I want to hang out with their group because my best friends do at times, and during those times I feel so out of place. So unwanted, like I am missing out on something that they all have. That is sports. They all play softball or volleyball or both. I am a runner. I am the oddball out there. A week from Tuesday is our first meet, and I am so ready. I am ready to go out there, and bring it. I am ready to go out there and push harder than I push myself in practice. I am planning to cross that finish line dead. I am going to run for those who can't run, but I feel like I have a reason because a dear friend of mine passed away yesterday night. She was quiet unwell, but I was close to her. I didn't go and see her on her final days, so I am mad at myself. Besides, I run better if I have a purpose, and something that I want to fight for or honor. I don't know why.
We have our school pictures taken on Thursday, and I am not looking forward to that because mine always turn out awful, and their positions make me look more stupid than beautiful which isn't that what school pictures is all about is being beautiful, and feeling great about your photo when it comes out instead of wanting to hide it and then crawl into a hole. I'm serious. I feel like I can get a better looking picture when I take it on my own and mine are pretty bad most of the time, trust me.
For XC meets, we have two two hour drives, and one on Saturday, but I like the one on Saturday which is at 8:30 in the morning, and I will email you the location if you are interested in knowing to come out and support us, because that might give my friends, and people who doubt cross country as a sport a chance to come out and see what it really is and offer support. Towards the end, the coach always says that we end up feeding off of the crowd's energy because we have none of ours left if we did the run right. She says that it doesn't matter if we are away, the crowd still cheers us on, but just not as loudly. We have no home meets this year, and we are running at the Class 3A level.
Some people say that I talk about cross country too much, and I am like well when your sport is going on, you talk about them way too much too, so now you see how it feels, I sometimes add that part or I just walk away. I don't like drama about things that I say. I am almost tempted to keep quiet and communicate through a notepad and only use my voice when necessary. At least then, my voice wouldn't bother anybody, it would just be my appearance, which I can't help, well I can, but some parts I can't. I'm proud of my sport, and I want to tell people about it. I mean, wouldn't you want to tell others about your sport because I feel like sports define you. What you are in defines you as a person and helps you stand out so you should express that freely and proudly and not let anyone hold you back because they think that you are just bragging and having a bighead.
Like, I mean, cross country, the musical, and grades have been the things on my mind lately. I need to do well in school, so that I can be in both cross country, and the musical. I need to use my time wisely so that I can be at both things, and still have time for homework and to be just a normal kid. I don't want to become too overwhelmed by things that the school offers at this age. I am going to save that stuff for high school because that is what people in high school say. Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't do this because I am committed to doing this, or I'm sorry, but I am not interested in doing things because I want to keep my social life. I hate that because those usually come from the people who don't use their time wisely, and think like that we are people who are too peppy or dramatic, or whatever label goes with their sport. We aren't like that, we are normal people exploring in the things that interested us or called out our names. Honestly, I never thought I would be doing cross country. Yes, I used to run, but that was because I had low self esteem. When that grew, I gave up running because I hated it to be honest.
No offense, but those people who step away from the chance to be in the school play or musical or do a sport or club, are really lessening their social life because a lot of people do extra things. More than you might think. Besides, extra activities can open you up to a whole new world where you meet new people, or try new things and create bonds with the people that you saw in the halls and thought, wow, I never will be friends with them because we have nothing in common. That is the problem these days, we as people are judging others before we even give them a chance, and we are judging them by their outsides, not their insides which is what really counts, at least I think so.
I say, give the people chances. You never know who your friends will be until you give that, and this way, you really get to know what they are into and about, so that maybe you will become tight friends.
I can't wait to get my uniform, because I hear that they are going to be really nice if they are the same ones as last year. My sister's uniform is super nice. Everything is dry fit, and according to her, you can't tell that you even have a uniform on because it is so comfortable and lightweight, which is just what you need when running long distances. Sure the uniform is the other school that we are teamed up with's colors, but that doesn't matter because they are the bigger school, but in case you haven't noticed we are the better runner, or most of us are anyways.
Anyways back to me and cross country. I didn't think I would do it this year, but my sister said that I should that way we could be like a duo at meets, and kind of be like a threat to the other team, even though she is at the high school level, and I am at the junior high level. I told her that I might, but I said I am not that into running anymore, and I was never really into it to begin with. We didn't talk about it in depth too much after that, but she kept bugging me to do it, and on the day that we had to fill out our slips for our afternoon, I wanted to circle a gym class, but the cross country thing kept standing out to me, like it was trying to tell me to do it. I finally just circled/crossed it out because I was super unsure at that time, but after five more minutes of thinking I circled it. I was so going to do it. I don't know what pushed me over the edge, but I like it.
Most of the people on the team are nice, and the coaches are nice. They have pushed me to where I am. They have been there for me when I needed them the most, like when my lungs started to go haywire because we were running in a place where a lot of plants were present on a day with high pollen counts, and when I got stuck in a hole on Thursday. We are still getting a good laugh out of that one, and I feel proud when I say that because it takes an idiot to get stuck in a hole and that is why not very many people can say that. I embrace my stupidness, and love my smarts because I am one of those people who are lucky to have a certain amount of both, and have them show at the same time pretty much.
There are a few people on the team that I care for more than the others, most of them are boys, because the girls tend to hate me and find me kind of weird at times, but don't worry, I do have some support from girls, and all of that support is from the other school girls believe it or not. No drama between us. They just walked right up to me, and welcomed me. I have felt like even though I don't run with them, they are usually ahead of me at the end because they have a kick and I don't, so they pass me, that I am a part of their group. I feel like I really am a part of their group and that I belong. There is no weird feeling like what I have at our school. Then, you have those people on the team that I don't really lean towards, aka, some of the girls from our school, and a couple of boys from our school, as well as some of the boys from their school, luckily for me they aren't doing cross country.
Tomorrow I get to see my nephew. I also have to go to our church and clean up bat poop with my dad, or I could sleep in and say, LOL sorry, I need to catch up on some rest as I have my first meet which is always important a week from Tuesday. I have a feeling that this is going to be a great three day weekend even though we don't get that Monday off from cross country practice, although we will end up having a team breakfast together, and cross country meals are always amazing. People know how to cook for runners, and make food that runners like and will eat. They know that we can have junk food, it just has to be in a certain serving size because we will end up working it off in our next workout. They know what foods give us energy and what we like to drink besides water and Gatorade, which has been my best friend after intense practices especially in this heat wave even though practices weren't so intense during this hot week.
I'm so nervous for my first meet. It is going to be timed, and I don't know the course, and I hate running basically blind. I need to do well, because I am representing my team. I know I haven't ran in a while, so I might be kind of bad at this meet, but I need something that is better than what I have been getting in practice to start the season off with. There are five meets, including the Class 3A conference meet, and our team is already deemed to place there because we supposedly placed there last year in third, and my plan is to improve at every one of them.
Oh, and for those people out there who don't think that my sport is a sport. It is, we are even a part of the Olympics even though not a lot of people give it the attention that it deserves. It is all about football, or men's basketball, or volleyball, like it is at my school. Runners don't get the attention that they deserve. Not even if they do track, I mean sure they do get better attention than cross country runners get, but still, we don't get send offs, and the only recognition that we get is like a two minute stand up and a minute speech if we are lucky, and that is when we get into high school. There are no shout outs for cross country which sucks because we could really feed off their energy and support knowing that we have both schools behind us wanting the best for us. It challenges your body, your mind, and your abilities to react to sudden things. People have died or gotten seriously injured in my sport. This isn't a sport for sissies. You have to be able to handle sweat, or sometimes blood, or even a couple of tears. I always look at it this way, no matter what place I cross that finish line. I am going to cross it dead, knowing that I am a winner because I fought my hardest fight, and I got started in something that I thought that I would never do.
If you see a XC runner, or a track member, or a coach of one of these things, give them some positive comments to pump them up. Handshakes, highfives, little pump up shout outs on days of the meets, and just any other day, but mainly those, because I know I will really like those then, because on days of meets, we have so many things going through our heads like what are we going to run into, what if I get hurt, what if I am not ready to do this, what if we lose, and the list could go on and on and on with some negative things, and some things that get us pumped up, but with a little support from you all out there I know that we will go along way. I feed off of energy. I always do at the end of practice when the team is cheering you in. It just feels so amazing. Fill up the halls with support do something to let them know that their sport is not forgotten because we do more than all the other sports. We have intense training. We run outside in the heat, and we have even done hills. You never hear a complaint except for when the person you can obviously see has earned the right to complain because they got hurt doing it. What I am saying is that the halls should be supportive of every sport, not just the sports that make the school shine, but the sports that get hidden away.
I will have you know that our third place finish out of a cross country meet that has 13 middle schools in it, or so it is that way this year, is pretty good. I am hoping that we can top that this year. I think we got third because the coach said that we placed last year but we didn't win. Everyone that is older than me makes it sound like we did get third because they kind of groaned remembering that. I think we want to go all the way and win, and possibly win all of our meets, if not most of them.
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