Hey, blogettes! My older sister is being nice and letting me use her laptop to write this post today. I guess it's because she is in a good mood because she had a date with her boyfriend this afternoon. Anyways, I'm writing this post to tell you about what happened last night. I talked to Ali Givens the girl who started the Voice program, and she totally disapproved of me being a honorary member of the Voice because that meant that I was a part of it when really I should be in the crowd of middle schoolers learning from them. I saw what she meant, and I just told her that I wasn't a member of the groups that went around talking to the classes, I told her that I was more of the behind the scenes organizer.
She said that was nice that I was helping the program stay organized, but I could tell that she was a little disappointed that I was involved in the program in the first place because it is for high schoolers only, so I quickly got off of that subject, and I just walked away from her because I wasn't going to have anymore drama.
You are probably wondering how I talked to her last night because she is a softball player, so she would be busy playing her game, but I stayed after, and I talked to her while she was packing up her gear.
Running my sister's laptop is a cinch because it is is a MacBook G4. It's silver, and really sleek, and professional looking even though it is huge and very thick. I've got skills with any kind of MacBook because I got to work on one along side most of the girls reading this blog throughout the school year, because our school has a wonderful 1 to 1 program for students in 6-12 grade. The program has opened up a lot of doors for me, and some of them were amazing, and others just made me wonder why I even bothered to open the door into something negative like it gave me.
I also wrote in my journal last night about the incident that happened in the morning and then it hit me, I needed to go my own way or else people will keep on thinking that it is okay to treat me like that because I keep on listening to them and doing and being what they want me to be. I'm never who I want to be until now. From now on, I am no longer holding back my feelings or trying to hide them, I'm going to show them. From now on, I'm only going to listen to my heart and let it lead me. I need to do that or else my future is going to be really hard because I did nothing that I needed to do in order to be prepared for the job that I am hoping to hold.
I know that I will never be perfect enough to live up to your standards, so I mise well at least live up to my loser low standards so that I can feel like I matter even though I don't because I can't do anything right, and I really don't have a social life besides this blog. I'm just going to earn the title of the Biggest Loser Ever in Middle School so I mise well do things that will bring me success in the future because success is too far to reach and too late to reach at this time.
That doesn't mean I'm not going to try and reach it, believe me I am going to try with all of my heart, and it might happen because when I get onto something I try and make it work. I'm going to find myself, and be myself, and not listen to what the other people out there have to say about the person that I am turning out to be because it will please me and help me out in my future which is all that will ever really matter. I'm not going to quit on this blog though, even though it really isn't me.
Instead, I'm going to take this blog on a totally different path that will show me, and who I am and how far I've come in finding myself, and yet do things that represent you readers out there as well because this blog won't turn out to be all about me after all. This is a blog for the public, and it is going to stay that way. That's my promise to you out there. Keep on reading my blog and you will see the change throughout the rest of this summer and into the school year. My blog is about to get crazy, fun, and interactive. It's going to be better than it has ever been before because I am going to get more ideas, and I am just going to try and run with them as much as I can.
Of course that doesn't mean that it will always end up on the blog because sometimes it's really stupid or would not make sense, and I am not going to trash the blog. I am going to keep it clean, and easy and fun for you to read and understand. Maybe it will even spark some ideas for you to run with, and do great things in this world with. This is our world, let's shape it together into the world we want it to be.
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