Hey, blogettes! I just wanted you to know that this is most likely going to be my last post before I go to bible camp in three days. I don't know when I will write again because I know that these next week at least is going to be really busy for me. I just got over a black eye, but eye shadow really seemed to do the trick most of the time. I'm really nervous to go to camp because I am the only first year in the group that I am going with. I have fallen madly in love with the Pandora app for the Ipod because it freshens up my mind with the fact that this is my summer and I am going to make sure it is filled to the brink with fun. This is my summer and no one is going to take it away from me.
Nobody is going to change that for anything, and I am going to make sure that this sudden strike of confidence lasts throughout the school year. The party of the summer doesn't need to stop just because school has started again. It just means that I need to dial it down a bit. I am going to make sure that people know that life is a party meant to celebrate and have fun. Even when we have school or work, we can still find time to have fun. The overall party never ends because there is always someone having fun.
The more I think about camp the more my heart races. I just want the time to be here already, because I have been looking forward to attending this camp for awhile now. Make that at least a couple of years, but I finally got serious enough to speak up and say hey may I go to camp this year. I'll admit that I never thought that my parents would say yes. I can't believe that they did either. I was thinking did someone trade out my mom because my mom usually never lets me do something that is a lot of fun where I will be away from home like this. I gladly thanked them and started getting the information that I needed. First they told me that I had enough money to do something really fun. I automatically turned to bible camp because that is something that like I wrote before have wanted to attend for a while now.
It will help me get deeper with my faith and walk with the Lord. I figure that if this is the summer and time where I am reinventing myself and finding the real me then I should go all out and get deeper into my faith. I need to balance my faith with life and if it isn't fresh like me it will just be weird. I'm changing this time because I want to and I got so off track with people telling me what to be and where to go instead of going the way that my heart and mind wanted me to go. I would have been better off doing that. I would not be in half of the mess that I am right now. I wouldn't be so lost, and people would not be able to say, "Remember the time when you did this and you failed?" or "Why did you do that?" "Why did you waste your time doing that?" I would not have to spend this summer finding out who I am. I could just spend this summer having even more fun. I could spend less time looking like a lost puppy or like I am out of place and don't know what I am doing.
Oh, and here's a note, I'm sick and tired of downgradement. I'm taking charge and saying that I am worth something and I don't need anyone trash talking me. If you don't like what I do or my blogs then avoid me or quit reading the blog. Let me tell you now, my friends have wrote me letters telling me how much my blog means to them and how much better their lives have gotten and how much easier middle school has been because of it. I feel good that I am making a mark in this world, and I am making a difference even if it is a little one it is still a difference. This is my summer, and my time to shine. Nothing is going to get me down anymore because I have more power than those people. I have the Lord and with the Lord I can do anything. Nothing is impossible with him on my side.
I just don't care what people think. I'm going to be me and embrace my flaws. Who cares about being accepted. I have learned that anything I do to get closer to being perfect and accepted gets me no where in life. They will just keep raising the bar so it isn't worth trying to get. I have wasted enough of my time doing that when I should have been finding myself. I have big flaws that I will never be able to change like my crooked pinkie toes. Even though I can have surgery on them it doesn't mean that I will do it. The tube that I have in my stomach to drain excess fluids that I have finally grown out of and that is believed to be the cause of my migraines that cannot be taken out because it could cause brain damage. Those are big flaws, that I have learned to embrace.
My out of date clothes, I have found a way to update. I will tell you that in a later post. In my next post I will have details of all my travels in this next week.
Here's a random fact: I think I have shed more tears in the past two weeks than I have in a long time. I think it is because someone is just envious of the fact that I have, not having a big head here, an amazing blog that makes a difference again even if it is a small one in this world.
Anyways, I will write again whenever my next trip to the library is. My sister can drive now so I guess I could get a ride from her. I thank you all for viewing my blog even when it hasn't been updated for a long time. I promise I will get better at this whole ordeal, I really will. Next summer will be better because I have a summer like it under my belt.
No comments:
Post a Comment