Hey, blogettes! Wow, has this summer gone by fast or what? I don't know about anyone else, but I'm kind of ready to go back to school. I miss seeing the people that this blog is for everyday, and I miss hearing them give input or talk about the blog at school, and it is fun knowing that the boys if they have something like this that mine is probably way more organized, fun, and better because you know that girls can do everything that boys can except for we can do it better. We have willpower to get things done, and in case you haven't noticed, we girls tend to fight for what we believe in.
That and I miss my laptop and the freedom it gave me to write a post whenever I wanted to, and the way that I was connected to the world through it. I had everything I needed for a good life. I also had everything I needed to do well in school and be super smart in almost everything, all thanks to having the internet basically at my fingertips, and a few words typed into a search box.
This blog is going to undergo some changes this year. Like I'm going to do vlogs, music videos of cover songs, as well as sing some songs that I wrote myself, and now will start to sing it because I have found myself and my voice this summer and now I am going to raise it. The me that went through bullying is now gone for good. There is nothing left, and the new me is ready to start shining. I feel like it already has. Now, I am going to focus my life in helping girls who are bullied in the same forms I was, and telling the world about the Lord, and living life to the fullest.
The teenage years are a whirlwind, with people trying to find who they really are, and hopefully our blog will help us all survive these odd years of our life.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
Uplifting Summer
Hey, blogettes! If I were to describe my summer in one word, that word would be uplifting. I've had a great summer overall, but there were a few bumps in the road. I had a black eye, and was on crutches for a week, from these boys at the local pool, they thought it would be fun to body slam me to the bottom, but they got kicked out so it wasn't really fun for them, there was some drama, and a terrible loss of life that is still hard on me believe it or not. But the good outweighed the bad stuff big time.
I went to see TobyMac in concert last night, and it was so uplifting and a really fun time. One of my friends who had seats down in front on the dirt track at the fair ground got asked by TobyMac himself to dance on stage during the last song. That was so cool. I'm now proud to say that I am a true Christian and I am not going to hide my faith away any longer because I found myself this summer so it is time now to show the world who I really am. I've been hiding for the past four years. It's time that I make my come back and leave my mark on this world. As a bullying survivor, I'm confident that this is the right time.
He played my favorite two songs, and I cried because Unstoppable brought me back to the time where I was being bullied and I played that just to have that confidence boost to get through the day, and City on Our Knees, well that was the song that I played when I first got in the bullying mess for some reason, and I will continue to play it even though I'm no longer in that mess praise the lord. It was just awful in those four years, that I'm so happy that I overcame and I never want to go back there again. I'm unstoppable now. I am going to do the things that I want to do because I want to leave MY mark on this world, not anyone else's mark.
In twenty one days, that will be happening, and I am kind of nervous. I hope people like and accept the real me, and if not they will have a long four or five years with me because I'm not changing anymore. I'll only change for me, because what I want is what counts. Not what anyone else wants. If I listened to other people like I did before I'd be going a million different directions and things would catch up with me sooner or later. Believe me I wish I could go back four years and change everything back but I can't do that. I wasted four years of my life.
My friends tried to tell me that from the start but I didn't bother to listen to them and now all I can say is sorry because they were right, and they left me. I have new friends now, but they won't ever be as good as the one who saw me through. She's a Christian as well, and thanked me for being so open about my faith on this blog. I just told her that I wasn't all the way open until now. Thanks for pushing me this far Rachel and TobyMac. I love you guys lots, and I look up to you as my role models because you are so amazing. I'll never be as amazing as you, or even close. I'd fall flat on my face and be back to square one before that would happen.
I'd also like to say thanks to all the blogettes who have viewed this blog and made it into what it is today. I would have given up a long time ago if it wasn't for you. The vlogs start in 21 days and I am nervous for that because I have to be spot on because I am recorded. These vlogs will make my blog be more interactive and allow you to have more of a connection to me, and the things that I write about.
This school year might get wild at times, but there is not going to be a dull free moment. I want to make sure that everyone is smiling, and doing good. No one deserves to feel down. I felt down a lot last year and I held those feelings in and put a fake smile on my face. No one could really understand what that year was like, but I made it through and I overcame bullying. I am now going to tell others that they need to spit out their feelings. It isn't healthy holding them in. Bullying is not okay and if you speak out and up against it, you'll get out sooner because the bullies know that they won't win. I didn't do this until the fourth year. I should have done it sooner but the lord had it all planned. It all happened for some reason or another, and I know that I can tell others about it.
If you are being bullied, I want you to know that I am here for you, and that you do matter and you do have a voice that needs to be heard. I know my passion was singing and acting. This blog is also my voice I guess. Oh, and here's a thing I learned about friendship a couple of weekends ago. It is possible to stumble upon friends. I did, and we have been texting each other a lot. This blog actually connected me with a friend as well who just adores this like crazy.
I went to see TobyMac in concert last night, and it was so uplifting and a really fun time. One of my friends who had seats down in front on the dirt track at the fair ground got asked by TobyMac himself to dance on stage during the last song. That was so cool. I'm now proud to say that I am a true Christian and I am not going to hide my faith away any longer because I found myself this summer so it is time now to show the world who I really am. I've been hiding for the past four years. It's time that I make my come back and leave my mark on this world. As a bullying survivor, I'm confident that this is the right time.
He played my favorite two songs, and I cried because Unstoppable brought me back to the time where I was being bullied and I played that just to have that confidence boost to get through the day, and City on Our Knees, well that was the song that I played when I first got in the bullying mess for some reason, and I will continue to play it even though I'm no longer in that mess praise the lord. It was just awful in those four years, that I'm so happy that I overcame and I never want to go back there again. I'm unstoppable now. I am going to do the things that I want to do because I want to leave MY mark on this world, not anyone else's mark.
In twenty one days, that will be happening, and I am kind of nervous. I hope people like and accept the real me, and if not they will have a long four or five years with me because I'm not changing anymore. I'll only change for me, because what I want is what counts. Not what anyone else wants. If I listened to other people like I did before I'd be going a million different directions and things would catch up with me sooner or later. Believe me I wish I could go back four years and change everything back but I can't do that. I wasted four years of my life.
My friends tried to tell me that from the start but I didn't bother to listen to them and now all I can say is sorry because they were right, and they left me. I have new friends now, but they won't ever be as good as the one who saw me through. She's a Christian as well, and thanked me for being so open about my faith on this blog. I just told her that I wasn't all the way open until now. Thanks for pushing me this far Rachel and TobyMac. I love you guys lots, and I look up to you as my role models because you are so amazing. I'll never be as amazing as you, or even close. I'd fall flat on my face and be back to square one before that would happen.
I'd also like to say thanks to all the blogettes who have viewed this blog and made it into what it is today. I would have given up a long time ago if it wasn't for you. The vlogs start in 21 days and I am nervous for that because I have to be spot on because I am recorded. These vlogs will make my blog be more interactive and allow you to have more of a connection to me, and the things that I write about.
This school year might get wild at times, but there is not going to be a dull free moment. I want to make sure that everyone is smiling, and doing good. No one deserves to feel down. I felt down a lot last year and I held those feelings in and put a fake smile on my face. No one could really understand what that year was like, but I made it through and I overcame bullying. I am now going to tell others that they need to spit out their feelings. It isn't healthy holding them in. Bullying is not okay and if you speak out and up against it, you'll get out sooner because the bullies know that they won't win. I didn't do this until the fourth year. I should have done it sooner but the lord had it all planned. It all happened for some reason or another, and I know that I can tell others about it.
If you are being bullied, I want you to know that I am here for you, and that you do matter and you do have a voice that needs to be heard. I know my passion was singing and acting. This blog is also my voice I guess. Oh, and here's a thing I learned about friendship a couple of weekends ago. It is possible to stumble upon friends. I did, and we have been texting each other a lot. This blog actually connected me with a friend as well who just adores this like crazy.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Last Post Before Camp!
Hey, blogettes! I just wanted you to know that this is most likely going to be my last post before I go to bible camp in three days. I don't know when I will write again because I know that these next week at least is going to be really busy for me. I just got over a black eye, but eye shadow really seemed to do the trick most of the time. I'm really nervous to go to camp because I am the only first year in the group that I am going with. I have fallen madly in love with the Pandora app for the Ipod because it freshens up my mind with the fact that this is my summer and I am going to make sure it is filled to the brink with fun. This is my summer and no one is going to take it away from me.
Nobody is going to change that for anything, and I am going to make sure that this sudden strike of confidence lasts throughout the school year. The party of the summer doesn't need to stop just because school has started again. It just means that I need to dial it down a bit. I am going to make sure that people know that life is a party meant to celebrate and have fun. Even when we have school or work, we can still find time to have fun. The overall party never ends because there is always someone having fun.
The more I think about camp the more my heart races. I just want the time to be here already, because I have been looking forward to attending this camp for awhile now. Make that at least a couple of years, but I finally got serious enough to speak up and say hey may I go to camp this year. I'll admit that I never thought that my parents would say yes. I can't believe that they did either. I was thinking did someone trade out my mom because my mom usually never lets me do something that is a lot of fun where I will be away from home like this. I gladly thanked them and started getting the information that I needed. First they told me that I had enough money to do something really fun. I automatically turned to bible camp because that is something that like I wrote before have wanted to attend for a while now.
It will help me get deeper with my faith and walk with the Lord. I figure that if this is the summer and time where I am reinventing myself and finding the real me then I should go all out and get deeper into my faith. I need to balance my faith with life and if it isn't fresh like me it will just be weird. I'm changing this time because I want to and I got so off track with people telling me what to be and where to go instead of going the way that my heart and mind wanted me to go. I would have been better off doing that. I would not be in half of the mess that I am right now. I wouldn't be so lost, and people would not be able to say, "Remember the time when you did this and you failed?" or "Why did you do that?" "Why did you waste your time doing that?" I would not have to spend this summer finding out who I am. I could just spend this summer having even more fun. I could spend less time looking like a lost puppy or like I am out of place and don't know what I am doing.
Oh, and here's a note, I'm sick and tired of downgradement. I'm taking charge and saying that I am worth something and I don't need anyone trash talking me. If you don't like what I do or my blogs then avoid me or quit reading the blog. Let me tell you now, my friends have wrote me letters telling me how much my blog means to them and how much better their lives have gotten and how much easier middle school has been because of it. I feel good that I am making a mark in this world, and I am making a difference even if it is a little one it is still a difference. This is my summer, and my time to shine. Nothing is going to get me down anymore because I have more power than those people. I have the Lord and with the Lord I can do anything. Nothing is impossible with him on my side.
I just don't care what people think. I'm going to be me and embrace my flaws. Who cares about being accepted. I have learned that anything I do to get closer to being perfect and accepted gets me no where in life. They will just keep raising the bar so it isn't worth trying to get. I have wasted enough of my time doing that when I should have been finding myself. I have big flaws that I will never be able to change like my crooked pinkie toes. Even though I can have surgery on them it doesn't mean that I will do it. The tube that I have in my stomach to drain excess fluids that I have finally grown out of and that is believed to be the cause of my migraines that cannot be taken out because it could cause brain damage. Those are big flaws, that I have learned to embrace.
My out of date clothes, I have found a way to update. I will tell you that in a later post. In my next post I will have details of all my travels in this next week.
Here's a random fact: I think I have shed more tears in the past two weeks than I have in a long time. I think it is because someone is just envious of the fact that I have, not having a big head here, an amazing blog that makes a difference again even if it is a small one in this world.
Anyways, I will write again whenever my next trip to the library is. My sister can drive now so I guess I could get a ride from her. I thank you all for viewing my blog even when it hasn't been updated for a long time. I promise I will get better at this whole ordeal, I really will. Next summer will be better because I have a summer like it under my belt.
Nobody is going to change that for anything, and I am going to make sure that this sudden strike of confidence lasts throughout the school year. The party of the summer doesn't need to stop just because school has started again. It just means that I need to dial it down a bit. I am going to make sure that people know that life is a party meant to celebrate and have fun. Even when we have school or work, we can still find time to have fun. The overall party never ends because there is always someone having fun.
The more I think about camp the more my heart races. I just want the time to be here already, because I have been looking forward to attending this camp for awhile now. Make that at least a couple of years, but I finally got serious enough to speak up and say hey may I go to camp this year. I'll admit that I never thought that my parents would say yes. I can't believe that they did either. I was thinking did someone trade out my mom because my mom usually never lets me do something that is a lot of fun where I will be away from home like this. I gladly thanked them and started getting the information that I needed. First they told me that I had enough money to do something really fun. I automatically turned to bible camp because that is something that like I wrote before have wanted to attend for a while now.
It will help me get deeper with my faith and walk with the Lord. I figure that if this is the summer and time where I am reinventing myself and finding the real me then I should go all out and get deeper into my faith. I need to balance my faith with life and if it isn't fresh like me it will just be weird. I'm changing this time because I want to and I got so off track with people telling me what to be and where to go instead of going the way that my heart and mind wanted me to go. I would have been better off doing that. I would not be in half of the mess that I am right now. I wouldn't be so lost, and people would not be able to say, "Remember the time when you did this and you failed?" or "Why did you do that?" "Why did you waste your time doing that?" I would not have to spend this summer finding out who I am. I could just spend this summer having even more fun. I could spend less time looking like a lost puppy or like I am out of place and don't know what I am doing.
Oh, and here's a note, I'm sick and tired of downgradement. I'm taking charge and saying that I am worth something and I don't need anyone trash talking me. If you don't like what I do or my blogs then avoid me or quit reading the blog. Let me tell you now, my friends have wrote me letters telling me how much my blog means to them and how much better their lives have gotten and how much easier middle school has been because of it. I feel good that I am making a mark in this world, and I am making a difference even if it is a little one it is still a difference. This is my summer, and my time to shine. Nothing is going to get me down anymore because I have more power than those people. I have the Lord and with the Lord I can do anything. Nothing is impossible with him on my side.
I just don't care what people think. I'm going to be me and embrace my flaws. Who cares about being accepted. I have learned that anything I do to get closer to being perfect and accepted gets me no where in life. They will just keep raising the bar so it isn't worth trying to get. I have wasted enough of my time doing that when I should have been finding myself. I have big flaws that I will never be able to change like my crooked pinkie toes. Even though I can have surgery on them it doesn't mean that I will do it. The tube that I have in my stomach to drain excess fluids that I have finally grown out of and that is believed to be the cause of my migraines that cannot be taken out because it could cause brain damage. Those are big flaws, that I have learned to embrace.
My out of date clothes, I have found a way to update. I will tell you that in a later post. In my next post I will have details of all my travels in this next week.
Here's a random fact: I think I have shed more tears in the past two weeks than I have in a long time. I think it is because someone is just envious of the fact that I have, not having a big head here, an amazing blog that makes a difference again even if it is a small one in this world.
Anyways, I will write again whenever my next trip to the library is. My sister can drive now so I guess I could get a ride from her. I thank you all for viewing my blog even when it hasn't been updated for a long time. I promise I will get better at this whole ordeal, I really will. Next summer will be better because I have a summer like it under my belt.
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